167 Funny getting quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

  Commentary:
  Ah, the eternal question of commitment in the world of adult films – will they or won't they say "I do" after all that "action"? 💍🔞 Perhaps the real climax is the love story that lasts beyond the final scene… or maybe just until the credits roll! 😜🎬 #LoveAndOtherRatedRThings

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the joys of aging – where 'senior moments' become a daily adventure! 🧓📱 Don't worry, just tell them you were too busy living in the moment to remember it! 😅 #ForeverYoungAtHeart"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like we've got a real knockout contender in the ring this morning! 👊😂 Who knew that getting dressed could be such a dangerous sport? Remember folks, always keep your guard up when putting on those socks! 🧦💥 #FashionFails"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs the gym when you can just dazzle the audience with some magic tricks? 🎩✨🔮 Also, if you ever need a shortcut to shedding those extra pounds, just grab a magician! 🎩🔪💫"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the epic battle of wills between a tiny tyrant and a well-meaning parent! 😂👶🤧 It's a scene straight out of a dramatic soap opera – "As The Snot Flows"! Who will emerge victorious – the fearless mucus-wielder or the resolute nose wiper? Stay tuned for the next thrilling episode of "The Neverending Nose-Wipe"! 💪🏼👃🏼

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the good ol' days when we could rely on just one unreliable source for our daily dose of confusion! 🙈 Now we're swimming in a sea of misinformation from every direction! 🌊😂 #TheStruggleIsReal"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

  Commentary:
  "Life's way of reminding you that adulting is not for the faint of heart! 🏃‍♂️⏩👨‍👧‍👦 Embrace the chaos, because those problems aren't getting any slower!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

  Commentary:
  "Grandma's got some joint issues, but hey, tight rolling might just be the secret remedy she needs! 🍁💪😄 #RollWithIt"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the thrilling paradox of gambling: attempting to get something for nothing, while ending up spending a fortune in the process 🎲💸 It's like chasing after a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, only to find a bill for the rainbow's maintenance fees."

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the graceful shuffle of wisdom and age! 🚶‍♂️ Embracing the Chaplin-esque swagger of experience, one step at a time and a subtle twirl of the cane. 🎩 Keep strutting, old soul, for you are a silent comedy in motion!"

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