Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,270

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Just landed via Twitch:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Trending via Discord:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Just shared via WeChat:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Going viral on Pinterest:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Just shared via Messenger:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Live now on Facebook:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Funny godparent quotes

Funny godparent quotes bring a delightful mix of humor and affection to the special role of godparent. 😄👶 These quotes celebrate the playful and sometimes mischievous side of being a godparent, adding a touch of laughter to the joys and challenges of this cherished role. Enjoy these witty gems that highlight the fun and unique bond between godparents and their godchildren! 🎉❤️

New funny godparent quotes 👇

All funny godparent quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Facebook this month:

James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

41 shares on Threads this month:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

40 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

76 shares on Threads this month:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

65 shares on X this month:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

40 shares on TikTok this month:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to consult the woods about this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,281

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Over Christmas, some bastard has snuck into my house, gone into my wardrobe, stolen my work trousers, and replaced them with a smaller pair.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Trending via WeChat:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Going viral on Threads:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Just landed via Messenger:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Just landed via Instagram:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Just shared via Messenger:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

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