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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,513

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

Just landed via Messenger:

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Making waves on Instagram:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Going bananas on X:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Spotted on Threads:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

30 Funny grammar quotes

Funny grammar quotes can turn even the most serious punctuation pedant into a chuckling wordsmith. 😂📚 Whether you’re a stickler for syntax or just someone who enjoys a good laugh, these quips and jabs at the quirks of language are sure to tickle your funny bone. 😂📚

New funny grammar quotes 👇

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

7 days ago

confidence, grammar, humor, language, never, punctuation, semicolon, used, writing
Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

7 days ago

coding, grammar, hell, hot, humor, language, nerd, punctuation, semicolon, writing
Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

7 days ago

AI, AI writing, dash, em, em dash, grammar, humor, incoherence, incoherent, mean, please, punctuation, stop, too, us, work, writing
Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

1 week ago

grammar, humor, joke, professional, punctuation, semicolon, usage, writing
Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

1 week ago

difference, education, grammar, humor, joke, knowing, language, shit, wordplay, writing
I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

1 week ago

grammar, humor, i, irony, language, linguistics, live, moose, plural, want, where, wordplay, world
Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

1 week ago

big, double, double negative, friendly, grammar, humor, joke, language, linguistic, linguistic rule, negative, punctuation, reminder, rule
Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

1 week ago

Gestypo, grammar, humor, joke, language, Nazi, wordplay
People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

1 week ago

comedy, deserve, found, grammar, guilty, humor, law, people, punctuation, sentence, writing
Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

1 week ago

grammar, humor, hyphenated, irony, language, non-hyphenated

For even more funny grammar quotes, hit next 👇

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Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

100 shares on Slack this month:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

11 folks are currently checking 👀

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,415

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Old people are right about crosswords and morning stretches, I will admit.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Breaking via TikTok:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Spotted on Twitch:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Live now on Twitch:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

Seen just now on TikTok:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

Breaking via Threads:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Making waves on Slack:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Just landed via Telegram:

And then one day, life was like… hold my beer.

Just landed via Telegram:

Some of you have overdosed so hard on the propaganda, there’s nothing reality Narcan can do for you.

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