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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,370

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

Trending via WhatsApp:

When I feel stupid, I like to remind myself that I got my bachelor’s degree without ChatGPT.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Spotted on Twitch:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Making waves on Instagram:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Live now on TikTok:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

30 Funny grammar quotes

Funny grammar quotes can turn even the most serious punctuation pedant into a chuckling wordsmith. 😂📚 Whether you’re a stickler for syntax or just someone who enjoys a good laugh, these quips and jabs at the quirks of language are sure to tickle your funny bone. 😂📚

New funny grammar quotes 👇

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

25 minutes ago

ahead, doing, grammar, humor, joke, know, mistake, punctuation, semi-colon, semicolon, writing, wrong
I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

6 hours ago

confusion, grammar, humor, identity, know, me, misunderstanding, most, people, punctuation, semicolon
Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

13 hours ago

case, correction, grammar, humor, interest, just, know, language, peaked, piqued, spelling, usage, word, word usage
Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

15 hours ago

communication, grammar, humor, language, lesson, lessons, lot, media, social, social media, teach
I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

2 months ago

confidence, grammar, humor, language, never, punctuation, semicolon, used, writing
Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

2 months ago

coding, grammar, hell, hot, humor, language, nerd, punctuation, semicolon, writing
Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

2 months ago

AI, AI writing, dash, em, em dash, grammar, humor, incoherence, incoherent, mean, please, punctuation, stop, too, us, work, writing
Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

2 months ago

grammar, humor, joke, professional, punctuation, semicolon, usage, writing
Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

2 months ago

difference, education, grammar, humor, joke, knowing, language, shit, wordplay, writing
I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

2 months ago

grammar, humor, i, irony, language, linguistics, live, moose, plural, want, where, wordplay, world

For even more funny grammar quotes, hit next 👇

All funny grammar quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

72 shares on X this month:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

38 shares on X this month:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

33 shares on Discord this month:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

17 shares on Discord this month:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,579

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Making waves on Threads:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Freshly posted on X:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Spotted on Discord:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Just landed via Instagram:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Just shared via Instagram:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

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