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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,524

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Spotted on WeChat:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Just landed via Telegram:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Shared recently on TikTok:

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

Spotted on Facebook:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Trending via Messenger:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Seen just now on Threads:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Funny hairless quotes

Funny hairless quotes are the perfect way to celebrate smooth scalps and shiny vibes with a big dose of humor 😄🧴 Whether you’re rocking the bald look or just love a good laugh, these witty gems will tickle your funny bone and boost your confidence 💁‍♂️✨ Get ready to embrace the bare and bold with smiles and sass! 😜🔥

New funny hairless quotes 👇

All funny hairless quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Reddit this month:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

25 shares on Discord this month:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,667

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Just landed via Reddit:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Going bananas on WeChat:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Spotted on Facebook:

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

Trending via WeChat:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Spotted on Discord:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

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