Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Going viral on WeChat:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Trending via Pinterest:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Making waves on Facebook:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Trending via Twitch:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I put the mess in domestic.

Just landed via Threads:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Funny halfway quotes

Funny halfway quotes are the perfect way to celebrate reaching the middle point of any journey or challenge 🎉 Whether you’re halfway through your day, a project, or life’s adventures, these witty lines add a splash of humor and motivation 😄✨ Get ready to laugh, relate, and keep pushing forward with a smile that’s halfway to awesome! 🚀😂

New funny halfway quotes 👇

All funny halfway quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

35 shares on X this month:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

71 shares on Threads this month:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Some days I feel I’m on top of the world, and other days it feels like the world is on top of me.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Becoming a DJ, but only because I like to impose my will and preferences upon the masses.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,667

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Just shared via X:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Just landed via Reddit:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Making waves on Reddit:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Going viral on Threads:

We are the last generation of programmers who know the deadly feeling of seeing the exact problem in our code, on Stack Overflow, with 0 answers.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

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