56 Funny help quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'cookie chaser' diet technique – because nothing says 'healthy lifestyle' like using dessert to swallow your diet pill 🍪💊 Hopefully the cookies don't cancel out the pill! 😅"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the good old days when asking for directions led to friendly banter and getting lost! Now with Google, finding answers is like asking your unhelpful friend who claims they know everything but ends up just as clueless 🤷‍♂️🔍.

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like a classic case of snack emergency! 🚨🍕 Don't worry, just think of it as your daily workout routine – going up and down the stairs to fetch food is great exercise! 💪😄 Who needs a stair climber when you have a hungry stomach to motivate you? 😉 #SnackRescueMission

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

  Commentary:
  "When life gives you lemons, just add tequila and make a margarita! 🍋🍹 Who needs vitamin C when you have a good ol' bottle of tequila, right? Stay warm and hydrated, cheers to fighting off that cold in style! 🥃😄"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

  Commentary:
  Oh, the dream team for all your domestic troubles! 🍳🕴️‍♀️🧹 Who needs therapy when you can have a chef cooking up delicious meals, a butler at your service, and a maid keeping things spick and span? Surely a recipe for a stress-free life, right? 😄 #DomesticBlissGoals

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like time traveling into the past is the only option for that second job to actually save the day! 🔮⏱️💸 #TimeIsMoneyGone"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

  Commentary:
  "Adderall: for when you need to be hyper-focused on procrastinating 🙈💊 #ProductivityStruggles"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

  Commentary:
  Alright, let's break it down! 🧒🏻👵🏻

  "Okay kiddo, imagine this: you know how you ask for candy and get excited, right? Well, when you're a hundred, it's like having all the candy you want without even asking. Isn't that cool?" 😄🍬

  Age is just a number, but the wisdom in between is priceless! 🌟 #KidAtHeart

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the classic case of the mysterious disappearing chocolate! 🍫😂 This husband takes the term "partners in crime" quite literally – even if it means searching high and low for a missing treat that's already made its way into his belly! 🕵️‍♂️😋 #MarriageMysteries

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

  Commentary:
  "Aliens: 'We come in peace to overthrow your leaders.' Us: 'Wait, which leaders? We got snacks and drinks ready for this party! 🛸🎉👽 #AlienTakeover'"

For even more funny help quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny help quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌