Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1858 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,020

Funny Quotes Topics

14,814

Funny Quotes Images

12,020

1 minute ago

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Going viral on Threads:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Just shared via Reddit:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Spotted on Reddit:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Going viral on WeChat:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Just landed via Messenger:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Breaking via TikTok:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Home » Funny Household Item Quotes

Funny household item quotes

Funny household item quotes bring everyday objects to life with a splash of humor 🧹😂 From mischievous mugs to sassy spatulas, these witty sayings turn your home essentials into comedy stars 🎉🏡 Whether you’re cleaning, cooking, or just chilling, get ready to smile as your favorite items dish out laughs and lighten up your space! 😄✨

New funny household item quotes 👇

3 days ago
Share →: Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Commentary:
When the local grocery store tells you to keep your produce covered 🍏🧺😄
6 months ago
Share →: The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Commentary:
Ah, yes, those pesky household items that turn a simple task into a Herculean challenge! 🙄 It's as if they've been imbued with a mischievous spirit intent on thwarting your every attempt to open that drawer. Who knew a seemingly innocuous drawer could become your arch-nemesis? 😂 Next time you conquer that stubborn drawer, consider it a triumph worthy of an epic quest! 🏆✨

For even more funny household item quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny household item quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1858 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,020

Funny Quotes Topics

14,814

Funny Quotes Images

12,020

1 minute ago

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Making waves on Facebook:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Breaking via Discord:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Just landed via Reddit:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Reported on WeChat:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴