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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,627

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Making waves on Instagram:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Trending via YouTube:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Just shared via Messenger:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Broadcasted on Discord:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Trending via Discord:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Just shared via Messenger:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Going viral on Reddit:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Funny lice quotes

Funny lice quotes 🐛😂 are the perfect way to lighten up a pesky problem! Whether you’re dealing with a surprise scalp invasion or just love a good pun, these witty lines will have you laughing instead of scratching. Get ready to see these tiny troublemakers from a whole new, hilarious perspective—because sometimes humor is the best remedy! 🤣✨

New funny lice quotes 👇

All funny lice quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on TikTok this month:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

96 shares on Slack this month:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank God for headphones and day dreaming.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,501

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Going bananas on Twitch:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Just shared via Facebook:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Shared recently on Threads:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Seen just now on Threads:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

Going viral on TikTok:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Breaking via Telegram:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

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