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5 months ago
Share →: I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Commentary:
"Don't worry about ghosts haunting you, worry about the living holding grudges! 👻👻 Who needs ghosts when you've got a lineup of enemies ready to scare you right out of your sleep? 😂 #GhostFreeZone"
5 months ago
Share →: It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Commentary:
Oh, the irony of playing against a computer in Scrabble! 🧠💻 It's like a silent battle of wits where victory feels hollow without the satisfaction of seeing your opponent fume in defeat. Maybe we should program a victory dance emoji for the computer to use when it beats us. 💃🏼🕺🏻 In the meantime, let's keep that competitive spirit alive, even if our opponent lacks the flair for dramatics. 😜🏆
5 months ago
Share →: It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, it's all fun and games until the adorable angry face turns into a raging inferno emoji 🔥🏠😠 #cutebutdeadly"
5 months ago
Share →: “I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old strategy of avoiding politics like your life depends on it! 🙈 Sadly, politics has a way of sneaking up on you like that surprise pop quiz you didn't study for. Brace yourselves, folks! 🤣 #politicsgonnadoyou"
5 months ago
Share →: It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Commentary:
"Isn't it ironic how we all dream of exploring the final frontier in a galaxy far, far away, yet can't shake the feeling that we might end up in a post-apocalyptic desert reality? 🌌🤖🚀 Welcome to the ultimate battle between lightsabers and survival gear! May the force (and gasoline) be with you!"
5 months ago
Share →: Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Commentary:
"Twitter: The Millennial's Diary 📖🔍 If you're snooping through tweets, you better buckle up for some unfiltered thoughts and a rollercoaster of emotions! 🎢😂 #TwitterDiaries #PrivacyPlease"
5 months ago
Share →: People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Commentary:
"Remember, folks on a diet aren't giving you the side-eye – they're just staring down their salad like it stole their dreams 🥗😂 #FoodEnvy"
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Commentary:
"Easy solution: just bring your own karaoke machine and start belting out 'Wonderwall' at full volume. 🎤🎶 Nothing like an unexpected solo performance to really get the party going… or clearing out the bar in record time! 🙉🎵"
5 months ago
Share →: You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Commentary:
"Who knew a massage could turn into a Swedish food fest? 🇸🇪🍝 Next time, specify 'hands only' for your own sake! 😉"
5 months ago
Share →: There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Commentary:
"Plot twist: Turns out the rest of the world didn't get the apocalypse memo and is just casually sipping lattes and scrolling through memes while Australia is battling desert bandits. 🌏☕️😂 #MadMaxRealityCheck"