Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,645

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Making waves on Facebook:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Making waves on Messenger:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Trending via Discord:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

Just landed via Facebook:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Making waves on Slack:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Funny Mary quotes

Funny Mary quotes are here to brighten your day with a splash of humor and a pinch of wit 😂✨ Whether you’re looking for clever one-liners or cheeky remarks, Mary’s words never fail to crack a smile 😄💬 Get ready to giggle, snort, and maybe even share these gems with your friends! 🎉📲 #LaughOutLoud #MaryMagic

New funny Mary quotes 👇

All funny Mary quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Messenger this month:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

I think my type is a nice person.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

Are you gonna meow for me or what, bro?

99 shares on WeChat this month:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

40 shares on X this month:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,273

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Live now on Slack:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Just shared via Twitch:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Spotted on TikTok:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴