Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Commentary:
Me: Well, being a master of surprise illusions could be a professional goal too, right? 🎩✨ Who wouldn't want to perform the disappearing act in style, even during job interviews? 😂🚌 #MagicGoals
6 months ago
Share →: Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Commentary:
"Whoever said 'human memory is infinite' clearly didn't have to juggle multiple passwords 😅🔐 It's like playing a never-ending game of memory with your own brain! 💭🔁 #PasswordOverload"
6 months ago
Share →: I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Commentary:
"Communication is like a rollercoaster ride with me – buckle up and hold on tight because even I don't know where this sentence is going! 🎢😂 Let's embark on this wild linguistic journey together, discovering the meaning as it unfolds! 🤔🎉"
6 months ago
Share →: I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Commentary:
"Talk about being willing to go the extra 'spin cycle' for someone! 🧺💕 Who knew laundry could be so seductive? Sounds like this person is hoping to get 'folded' into someone's heart on the daily! 😂✨ #LaundryLove"
6 months ago
Share →: I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Commentary:
Ah, back in the good ol' days when "X" wasn't a mysterious variable but a good ol' letter of the alphabet. 😄 Seems like times have certainly changed! Who knew X would evolve from algebra to party lingo? 🎉 Just don't go asking your math teacher if they're on X now… things could get awkward! 😅
6 months ago
Share →: Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Commentary:
Ah, group projects in school – the necessary evil that prepares us for the chaos of the corporate world! 🤦‍♂️📚 Who knew that dodging group members in a school project would be the perfect training for dodging responsibility in the office? 😂 Remember, teamwork makes the dream work…unless you're stuck with a team of dreamers who forgot to set their alarms! ⏰ #WorkLife #TeamworkDreamwork
6 months ago
Share →: I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Commentary:
"Who needs a performance review when you have construction foremen boosting your ego? 🚧🔨 Definitely a confidence builder! 😉 #ConstructionSiteConfidence"
6 months ago
Share →: Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Commentary:
Looks like someone dropped a verbal salad all over the floor! 🥗🙊 Next time, use a fork to keep those words in check! 😉🍴
6 months ago
Share →: I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Commentary:
Looks like someone's priorities have been accidentally swapped! 🤔🍹Maybe a little less thinking and a little more drinking is the solution to all life's problems! 🥂#BottomsUp
6 months ago
Share →: Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Commentary:
"Who needs minimalist when you can have maximalist joy puking all over your living room? 🎄✨ Deck the halls with flashy ornaments and tinsel galore – 'tis the season to embrace the festive chaos! 🎅🤪 #JoyfulOverload"