Commentary:
What a plot twist! Iβm just a human caught in an office-themed episode of Lost. ποΈππ’
44 Funny meant quotes
Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.
Commentary:
Thanks for the family heirloom, but did it come with a return policy? ππ§ π¨βπ©βπ§βπ¦
To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.
Commentary:
Who knew "growth" meant a promotion to chief stress officer? ππΌπ
If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.
Commentary:
That moment you realize snacks are your true love language π₯¨β€οΈπ«
I think you misunderstood β when I said, βLet me look into it,β that meant, βI donβt know exactly how to tell you no just yet.β
Commentary:
π Oh, I totally get it! "Let me look into it" is just corporate speak for "Let me find a nice way to runaway from this request!" πββοΈπ¨πx
Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.
Commentary:
"Oh, you meant π fall, not 'brace-for-impact' fall! ππ
#Relief #SeasonsChange"
I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.
Commentary:
"Living that 'Horizontal Philosophy Major' life! ππ #ProPonderer"
Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.
Commentary:
"Who knew the Founding Fathers were just ahead of their time in creating 'America's Next Top Drama'! π¬πΊπΈπ€£"
I received a DM telling me that Iβve offended some of you. Iβm truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.
Commentary:
π€£ "Sorry for the oversight! Next time, I'll send out a personalized 'offense' card to ensure nobody feels left out! ππ"
If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?
Commentary:
"Guess it's God's way of saying, 'Have fun while you're at it!' πππ"