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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1888 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,050

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,050

Updated

23 seconds ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on WhatsApp:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Just shared via Twitch:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Going viral on Instagram:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Shared recently on Slack:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Just landed via WeChat:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Spotted on Messenger:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

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Funny Molotov Cocktail quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1888 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,050

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,050

Updated

23 seconds ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Going viral on Telegram:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Just shared via Messenger:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Going viral on WeChat:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Making waves on Slack:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Just landed via Threads:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

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