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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,308

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Breaking via Messenger:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Spotted on TikTok:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Spotted on Threads:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Going viral on Slack:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Just landed via Telegram:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

Trending via X:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Funny nighttime quotes

Funny nighttime quotes bring a smile when the stars come out and the world gets quiet 🌙✨ Whether you’re battling bedtime or just embracing those late-night laughs 😂🌌, these witty lines add a spark to your evening routine. Get ready to giggle your way through the night and turn sleepy vibes into pure fun! 🌟🛌💫

New funny nighttime quotes 👇

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

0

2 months ago

care, dental, dental hygiene, every, humor, hygiene, hygiene neglect, neglect, night, nighttime, oral, oral care, teeth, unbrushed
Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, bed, bed to bathroom, brushing, chore, daily, daily task, day, effort, feels, frustration, getting, harder, humor, just, night, nighttime, nighttime routine, pissed, routine, task, teeth, thinking, tooth, tooth brushing, walking, working
All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

0

2 months ago

bed, day, humor, i, irony, nighttime, procrastination, relaxation, sleep, think, thoughts, time
I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

0

2 months ago

bed, humor, i, kids, loneliness, me, miss, mosquit, nighttime, options, parenting
By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

0

2 months ago

am, day, humor, i, just, loser, night, nighttime, regular, same, self-deprecation
Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

0

4 months ago

animal, breeze, enjoying, here, humor, i, just, nature, nighttime, outdoors, owl, solitude, tree, trees
Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

0

5 months ago

6th, 6th grade, bad, embarrassment, feel, forever, grade, i, memory, nighttime, regret, remember, said, thing, weird, weird thing
Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

0

5 months ago

bathroom, companion, dog, feels, flashlight, going, humor, me, mystery, next, night, nighttime, nighttime routine, pet, pet companion, routine, solve

All funny nighttime quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Facebook this month:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

10 shares on Reddit this month:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

50 shares on Slack this month:

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,553

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Spotted on YouTube:

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

Freshly posted on X:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

Spotted on Slack:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Live now on WeChat:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Trending via Reddit:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Trending via YouTube:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Trending via Twitch:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

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