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Random Funny Quotes

Random funny quotes to crack you up. 😎✌️

Random funny quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: “It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal optimism of telling ourselves it can’t get worse… only to be spectacularly proven wrong! 🙈 Hang in there, you're in for a wild ride of going from bad to worse! 🎢😂"
5 months ago
Share →: When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Commentary:
"Ah, Catthew, the mischievous feline with a name that commands authority 😼🤣 Maybe it's the formal tone that will finally make him listen…or maybe he's just too busy planning his next adventure! 🐾 #CatTroubles"
5 months ago
Share →: Is losing your mind a hobby?

Commentary:
"Is losing your mind a hobby? 🤪 Well, if it is, then I must say some people are definitely turning pro at it! 😂 Just remember, if you're losing your mind, make sure you have a good map to find your way back! 🗺️"
5 months ago
Share →: Happy new fear!

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic mix-up between 'year' and 'fear' 🤣. Let's embrace the uncertainty of 2022 with open arms… and maybe a flashlight just in case! Here's to a 'spooktacular' new year ahead! 🎉👻 #HappyNewFear"
5 months ago
Share →: The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

Commentary:
"When it comes to LinkedIn posts, it seems like some people have mistaken quantity for quality – the longer the post, the deeper it can dive into the realm of BS! 🙈💬 #LinkedInLogic"
5 months ago
Share →: Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Commentary:
Parenting: the art of negotiating with tiny, relentless snack scavengers until you realize resistance is futile and you surrender to the snack demands 🍎🍪🤣
5 months ago
Share →: This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Commentary:
"Who needs therapy when you've got an overflowing online shopping cart ready to swoop in and lift your mood? 💳🛒 Retail therapy, anyone? 😅 #ShoppingHeals"
5 months ago
Share →: “Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal question: 'Are you busy tomorrow?' 🤔 Well, my availability hinges on the nature of your request. Will it be tackling Mount Laundry, defeating the dishes, or embarking on a noble quest to find the remote control? 🧹🍽️🗡️ Let me know, and I'll consider rearranging my hectic schedule of Netflix marathons and cat naps accordingly! 😄"
5 months ago
Share →: That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Commentary:
"Trying to be serious, but your smile decides to crash the party like a rebel without a cause 😄🙈 It's like your face has a mind of its own! Keep it together, smile, we'll deal with you later! 😆"
1 month ago
Share →: Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Commentary:
"Taking notes for my 'how not to plan a weekend' guide! 🍿🕵️‍♂️🔍"