Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,560

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

Trending via WeChat:

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

Shared recently on X:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Just shared via Telegram:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Just shared via YouTube:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Trending via Twitch:

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

Spotted on Discord:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Funny root quotes

Funny root quotes dig deep into humor that’s both clever and down-to-earth 🌱😂 Whether you’re a math whiz, a gardening guru, or just love wordplay, these witty lines will have you laughing from the roots up! 🌿🤣 Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening your day, dive into a world where roots aren’t just plants—they’re the punchline! 🌳😄 Get ready to grow your smile with some pun-tastic fun!

New funny root quotes 👇

All funny root quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

47 shares on X this month:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

36 shares on Discord this month:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

29 shares on Threads this month:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,333

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Just landed via TikTok:

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

Making waves on YouTube:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Freshly posted on X:

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

Broadcasted on Threads:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Spotted on Instagram:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

Trending via Telegram:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

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