To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Commentary:
Oh, the audacity! 🙊💁‍♂️ It takes talent to turn a "sorry" into a "you deserved it." Maybe we should all start taking notes on this one! 😂📝 #SavageSincerity

Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Commentary:
😄🚽 How about switching up the terminology to make your bathroom visits sound way more impressive? Who needs a John when you can casually mention you're off to the "Jim" for a daily workout session? Keep yourself healthy both physically and linguistically! 💪😉

I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Commentary:
"Brace yourselves, folks, this person's filter is on vacation! 😂🔊 Remember, honesty is the best policy… but maybe in moderation? 🙊😅 #SayItLikeYouMeanIt"