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New funny quotes: 6569 this month

15,818 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: May 23, 2026

 

 

 

 

Funny selfish quotes

Funny selfish quotes 😂✨ are the perfect way to laugh at our little quirks and unapologetic self-love moments! Whether you’re proudly putting yourself first or just need a cheeky reminder to embrace your inner diva 💁‍♀️💖, these witty lines will have you grinning from ear to ear. Ready to celebrate the art of being delightfully self-centered? Let’s dive into some hilarious truths about loving numero uno! 😜🎉

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

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