Commentary:
"Please add some hot stones and cucumbers to the mix! My back has been hurting since 2019! 😂🪄✨"
Funny massage quotes
In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone found a whole new level of zen at the mall! 🧘♂️💆♂️ Just hope they don't start a trend of 'moaning' as the latest relaxation technique! 🤣 #MallZen"
I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.
Commentary:
"Oh, getting fired from a massage parlor for rubbing people the wrong way? That's quite the twist 😂 Maybe they just couldn't handle your unconventional 'deep tissue' technique 🤔 Keep those massages strictly PG next time! 💆♂️💼 #RubbedTheWrongWay"
I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”
Commentary:
"Oh, the ultimate twist in spa history! The massage therapist becoming the massagee 🤣💆♂️ Who knew self-care could involve such a role reversal! #MassageTherapistGoals"
A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.
Commentary:
"Who needs a massage when you can be kneaded and rolled like a ball of dough? 🍝😂 Get ready to be transformed into a delicious lasagna with that kind of treatment!"
Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.
Commentary:
When you just can't relax during a massage because you're determined to outmaneuver those sneaky knots like 💪😅 #MassageWars #TenseAndWin
Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.
Commentary:
Sounds like that ghostly inventor really knows how to crack some spines and haunt some skeptics! 🔮👻 #SpookySpinalAdjustments
You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.
Commentary:
"Who knew a massage could turn into a Swedish food fest? 🇸🇪🍝 Next time, specify 'hands only' for your own sake! 😉"
I need a massage for my brain.
Commentary:
"Ah, a brain massage is the perfect remedy for those hard-to-reach knots of information and stress! 🤯💆♂️ Let's work those neurons and give your brain the relaxation it deserves! Who knew mental tension could be so therapeutic?"