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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,609

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Spotted on Telegram:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Trending via WeChat:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

Going viral on Snapchat:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Spotted on X:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Live now on Threads:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Just shared via Instagram:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Funny snacking quotes

Funny snacking quotes 🍿✨ are the perfect way to celebrate those irresistible cravings and midnight munchies! Whether you’re team sweet 🍫 or salty 🥨, these witty lines bring a smile to every snack lover’s face. Get ready to laugh, relate, and maybe even justify that extra cookie 🍪—because snacking is an art, and humor makes it tastier! 😄🎉

New funny snacking quotes 👇

All funny snacking quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

24 shares on X this month:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

41 shares on X this month:

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Body by sandwich.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

Spotted on Facebook:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Freshly posted on Threads:

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

Going bananas on Messenger:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Seen just now on Discord:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Going bananas on TikTok:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Seen just now on Slack:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Making waves on Instagram:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

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