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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,292

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Seen just now on Threads:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Trending via Pinterest:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Live now on Facebook:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Going bananas on Facebook:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Funny social avoidance quotes

Funny social avoidance quotes bring a hilarious twist to those moments when you’d rather dodge parties 🎉 or ghost group chats 👻. Perfect for introverts, awkward moments, or anyone mastering the art of *strategic disappearing* 🕵️‍♂️, these witty lines turn social shyness into comedy gold 😂. Ready to laugh at the joy of flying solo? Let’s celebrate the fun side of avoiding people—because sometimes, staying in is the best plan! 📱✨

New funny social avoidance quotes 👇

All funny social avoidance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on TikTok this month:

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

13 shares on X this month:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,271

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Going viral on Snapchat:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Seen just now on Twitch:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Spotted on Messenger:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Going viral on TikTok:

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

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