Funny spouse quotes

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Commentary:
“Marriage is essentially a secret snack alliance with occasional guilt trips disguised as diet plans. #PartnersInCrunchingNumbers”

3 weeks ago

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Commentary:
“Oh sure, your crush is definitely going to leave their spouse for you, just like rainbows are made of cotton candy and unicorns pay taxes! That’s how delusions work, my friend. Embrace the fantasy, but maybe keep a grip on reality too!”

4 months ago

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Commentary:
“Sounds like you’ve got all the details figured out except for that tiny ‘spouse’ detail! May your search for the missing puzzle piece be as exciting as planning the wedding itself! ”

4 months ago

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Commentary:
“Sending your spouse stuff on social media is a slippery slope – one minute you’re spreading love, the next minute you’re redistributing chores like it’s the Wild West . Proceed with caution, folks! #MarriageMemes”