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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,584

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Making waves on YouTube:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

Just shared via X:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Breaking via Slack:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Making waves on Messenger:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Funny squeezed quotes

Funny squeezed quotes 🍋 are the perfect blend of wit and zest, squeezing every drop of humor from life’s little moments 😄. Whether you’re feeling a bit juiced up or just need a quick laugh 🍊, these playful sayings will brighten your day and tickle your funny bone 😂. Get ready to pucker up and enjoy some citrusy chuckles that pack a punch! 🍉✨

New funny squeezed quotes 👇

All funny squeezed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

30 shares on Threads this month:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

55 shares on Discord this month:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

61 shares on X this month:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

80 shares on Threads this month:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife has the worst taste in men.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,384

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

Just shared via WeChat:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Spotted on Reddit:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Going viral on Slack:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Making waves on YouTube:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Going viral on YouTube:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

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