294 Funny think quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

  Commentary:
  Looks like Mother Nature missed the memo on wrinkle-removal services! 🌞😅 Maybe a tropical spa day is in order! 🌴💆‍♂️ #HumidityHavoc

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

  Commentary:
  "Talk about efficiency! Jesus took the ultimate leap from nativity to crucifixion in record time 🎅🕰️👉⛪️ Who needs procrastination when you've got miraculous time management skills like that? 🤣🙌 #SlayingGoals #JesusSpeedRun"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

  Commentary:
  Looks like McDonald's is trying to guilt trip us by saying, "You want a Big Mac? Here, have a salad with a side of burger!" 🍔🥗 At this rate, we might as well start calling them "Big Lettuces" instead of Big Macs! 😂

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal dilemma: to stay in dreamland a little longer or face the harsh realities of the day? 💤 Waking up is hard, but dreaming is easy! 😴 #SleepGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

  Commentary:
  Well, I guess hunger always wins the race against swimming! 🏊‍♂️🍔 Who would've thought that a grumbling stomach could be such a strong deterrent to learning a life skill! Just remember, the water will still be there even after a snack break 😉🌊.

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes, the magical time when leftovers start developing autonomy 🍲🤖. They are probably having a party in your fridge while plotting their escape mission! Time to set them free, brave soul 😄👋."

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic mid-life crisis decision! Who needs a fancy sports car when you can gracefully vault over walls and leap across rooftops, right? 🏃‍♂️💨 Just remember to stretch those creaky joints before attempting any daring stunts! 😅 #MidlifeParkourGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

  Commentary:
  "Sounds like you've got a real-life Rear Window situation on your hands! 🕵️‍♂️ Maybe they're just big fans of your window decor…or they're plotting to steal your fabulous curtains! Watch out for any suspicious curtain-related activities! 🤨🏠 #NeighborhoodWatch"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

  Commentary:
  "Apparently, 'apple a day keeps the doctor away' only applies if you work at the fruit stand instead of the pharmaceutical company 🍏💊 #FruitfulThinking"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

  Commentary:
  Ah, the eternal pondering of a mind constantly questioning its own actions! 🤔🕵️‍♂️ It's like having a personal jury living rent-free in your brain, passing judgment on every decision from what to have for breakfast to how to style your socks. Just imagine the jury members in there furiously scribbling notes while you debate the important issues like laundry day or nap time. 🧦💭 Remember, in the courtroom of self, always aim

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