Funny quotes think Page 9

264 Funny think quotes

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

3 months ago

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

3 months ago

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

3 months ago

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

3 months ago

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

3 months ago

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

3 months ago

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

3 months ago

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

3 months ago

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

3 months ago

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

3 months ago

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

3 months ago

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

3 months ago

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

3 months ago

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

3 months ago

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

3 months ago

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

3 months ago

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

3 months ago

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

3 months ago

My parents think they know me.

3 months ago

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

3 months ago

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

3 months ago

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

3 months ago

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

3 months ago

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

3 months ago