455 funny think quotes - Page 8 - Wordgag

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

May 23, 2026

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

May 23, 2026

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

May 23, 2026

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

May 23, 2026

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

May 23, 2026

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

May 23, 2026

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

May 23, 2026

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

May 23, 2026

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

May 23, 2026

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

May 23, 2026

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

May 23, 2026

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

May 23, 2026

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

May 23, 2026

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

May 22, 2026

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

May 22, 2026

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

May 22, 2026

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

May 22, 2026

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

May 22, 2026

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

May 22, 2026

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

May 22, 2026

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

May 22, 2026

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

May 22, 2026

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

May 22, 2026

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

May 22, 2026

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

May 22, 2026

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

May 22, 2026

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

May 22, 2026

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

May 22, 2026

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

May 22, 2026

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

May 22, 2026

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

May 22, 2026

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

May 22, 2026

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

May 22, 2026

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

May 22, 2026

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

May 22, 2026

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

May 22, 2026

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

May 22, 2026

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

May 22, 2026

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

May 22, 2026

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

May 22, 2026