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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Websites need to realize that no one ever, ever wants the site to be able to send them notifications.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,511

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

Just landed via Instagram:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Going bananas on Threads:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Breaking via TikTok:

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

Making waves on TikTok:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Breaking via YouTube:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Spotted on YouTube:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Funny train wreck quotes

Funny train wreck quotes 🚂💥 are perfect for those moments when life feels like a hot mess express! Whether it’s a disastrous date, a work blunder, or just one of those days, these hilarious sayings turn chaos into comedy 😂. Get ready to laugh at the glorious fails that keep us all human—and remind us that sometimes, crashing spectacularly is the best kind of fun! 🎉🤣

New funny train wreck quotes 👇

All funny train wreck quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Discord this month:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

56 shares on Discord this month:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

61 shares on X this month:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

I put the mess in domestic.

76 shares on Slack this month:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Reincarnation, in this economy?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,705

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

God saw you do that.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Spotted on Instagram:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Just landed via Slack:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Making waves on Twitch:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Making waves on X:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Live now on X:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Breaking via WeChat:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

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