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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,393

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Trending via Pinterest:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Seen just now on Slack:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Shared recently on Threads:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Trending via Facebook:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Just landed via Telegram:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Funny unexpected event quotes

Funny unexpected event quotes bring a burst of laughter when life throws curveballs 🎉😂 Whether it’s a surprise party gone wild or a sudden twist in your day, these witty gems capture the joy in the unpredictable 🎭✨ Ready to embrace the chaos with a smile? Let’s dive into moments where humor meets the unexpected and brighten your mood instantly! 😜🌟

New funny unexpected event quotes 👇

The world started without permission again.

3 weeks ago

again, event, humor, permission, sarcasm, started, unexpected, unexpected event, world
Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

3 weeks ago

ago, apartment, days, disappearance, done, door, event, gone, humor, ignored, ignoring, mystery, small, small door, three, unexpected, unexpected event
Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

3 weeks ago

alien, buying, car, event, humor, imagination, imagine, new, superhero, unexpected, unexpected event
In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

3 weeks ago

challenge, comedy, deadline, event, events, funny situation, humor, i, karate, learn, learning, morning, need, situation, tomorrow, turn, unexpected, unexpected event, urgent
A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

4 weeks ago

animal, animal humor, bird, comedy, dead, door, embarrassed, event, flew, funny moment, glass, glass door, humor, just, moment, nature, unexpected, unexpected event
My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

1 month ago

award, award ceremony, ceremony, cleaned, cleaning, dressed, event, funny situation, humor, husband, kitchen, living, living room, room, situation, suit, time, unexpected, unexpected event, waiting
I was having a great day, and then, people.

1 month ago

day, event, frustration, great, having, humor, i, interaction, mood, people, social, social interaction, unexpected, unexpected event
Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

1 month ago

earthquake, event, humor, interruption, me, rest, tired, trying, unexpected, unexpected event

All funny unexpected event quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Discord this month:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

64 shares on X this month:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,448

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Going viral on Reddit:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Breaking via Telegram:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Just landed via WeChat:

Women love asking you questions about the movie you both are watching.

Trending via Telegram:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Going viral on TikTok:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

Just landed via Slack:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

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