Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,390

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Just landed via TikTok:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Breaking via YouTube:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Making waves on Discord:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Trending via Discord:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Going viral on Snapchat:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Making waves on X:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Breaking via Facebook:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Live now on Snapchat:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Live now on Twitch:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Funny urgent quotes

Funny urgent quotes 🚨😂 bring a hilarious twist to those last-minute moments when panic sets in! Whether you’re racing against a deadline or scrambling to fix a mishap, these witty sayings turn stress into smiles 😅💡. Perfect for lightening the mood and sharing a laugh with friends, they remind us that sometimes, urgency can be downright entertaining! Ready to giggle through the chaos? Let’s dive in! 🎉⏰

New funny urgent quotes 👇

All funny urgent quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Slack this month:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

53 shares on X this month:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

45 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,579

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Breaking via Instagram:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Just landed via Threads:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Broadcasted on Slack:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Shared recently on WeChat:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Going viral on Twitch:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Seen just now on Reddit:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Just landed via Slack:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

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