Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,753

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

Going viral on Twitch:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Trending via Slack:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Live now on Telegram:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Seen just now on Threads:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Funny vacuum cleaner quotes

Funny vacuum cleaner quotes bring a hilarious twist to the everyday chore of cleaning 🧹😂 Whether you’re battling dust bunnies or just avoiding chores, these witty lines will have you laughing while you vacuum 🌀🤣 Ready to turn a dull task into a comedy show? Let’s dive into the funniest sayings that make dirt disappear with a smile! 😄✨

New funny vacuum cleaner quotes 👇

All funny vacuum cleaner quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

69 shares on Discord this month:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

36 shares on TikTok this month:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

83 shares on YouTube this month:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

11 folks are currently checking 👀

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,690

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I hate texting. Just hunt me like an animal.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Trending via Slack:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Just shared via Twitch:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Shared recently on X:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Spotted on Telegram:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Spotted on Telegram:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Live now on Pinterest:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

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