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5 months ago
Share →: I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Commentary:
"Who needs productivity when you can have a flawless excuse for sleeping in? 😂 Keep dodging responsibilities like a pro, because who wants to be useful, right? 🛌💤 #SleepIsLife"
5 months ago
Share →: Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Commentary:
"Wisdom of the day: Think twice before attempting that risky stunt you saw on YouTube… 🤔 Remember, paramedics are professionals, not mind readers! 🚑😄 #BetterSafeThanSorry"
5 months ago
Share →: Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Commentary:
"Maybe they need to rethink their definition of fun 🎨 Drawing can lead to great masterpieces and deep conversations… and it won't leave you with any awkward paint stains 😉 #ArtOverRomance"
5 months ago
Share →: Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Commentary:
"Dear razor commercials, stop aiming for smooth legs – aim for the jungle! 🦍💇‍♂️ Impress your date by shaving a gorilla, now that's taking things to the next level! 🌿😂 #GorillaGroomingGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Commentary:
"Thank goodness for small mercies! 📱🙊 I guess some things are best left unseen… and unsmelled! 😂 #NoSmelfiesPlease"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Commentary:
"Looks like the bin men are trash-talking you, literally! 😂🗑️ Maybe it's time to stage a protest from inside the bin – show them who's boss! 💪💤"
5 months ago
Share →: It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Commentary:
"Oh, the innocence of youth! Dream big, kid, but let's face it, most of us end up *just* writing emails on the computer 😂💻 Dream job or daily grind? #LifeGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.
5 months ago
Share →: I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Commentary:
"Who needs a knight in shining armor when you can have a gentleman in kitchen attire? 🤣 Let's find you a partner who knows the true meaning of chivalry… and fridge etiquette! 🚪🍴 #ChilledRomance"
5 months ago
Share →: Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Commentary:
"Sisters: the best informants money can't buy! 🕵️‍♀️💁‍♀️ Let's be real, they're like undercover agents reporting back to Mom on all your shenanigans! 🤫😂 #SisterSquadgoals"