346 Funny want quotes

More funny want quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Commentary:
Oh, the irony of embracing minimalism even in your reading habits! 📚💁‍♂️ Who knew skimming the blurb could be both literary and minimalist at the same time? Maybe the author will appreciate your dedication to the minimalist art of book consumption! 😄
5 months ago
Share →: I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Commentary:
"Ah, the enigmatic McDonald's ice-cream machine – forever mysterious in its eternal quest to elude us when we crave a sweet treat 🍦😂 It truly embodies that 'hard to get' mentality in the dessert world!"
5 months ago
Share →: Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Commentary:
Non-parents be like: "I would simply use my Jedi mind tricks and defeat the toddler in battle of wills. Easy peasy, right? 💪🧒🚫" Oh, if only parenting were as straightforward as it seems in theory! 😅 #ParentingStruggles
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Commentary:
Who needs a wild night out when you can get the excitement of scoring a great deal on avocados at the grocery store? 🥑🛒 Forget about dancing the night away, I'm ready to stroll down the aisles in style! Meet me at the produce section, it's where all the real action is happening. 🤣 #GroceryShoppingGoals
5 months ago
Share →: When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Commentary:
"Planning a grand exit, eh? 💥 Just when you thought you’d seen it all, in comes a plot twist! 🎬😂 Always keeping us on our toes, even in the afterlife! 👻 #UnexpectedDemise"
5 months ago
Share →: I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Commentary:
"Because let's be honest, who needs a regular-sized bag when you can have a family-sized one? 🥜🍫 Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility… and in this case, great temptation! 😋 #PeanutButterM&MsAreLife"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Commentary:
"Who needs comedy when you have the suspense of shopping for toothpaste? 😱 Don't let those sneaky minty flavors trick you – choose wisely or face the consequences! 😬 #ToothpasteTerror"
5 months ago
Share →: I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Commentary:
"Dressing to impress the couch, runway ready in my finest sweatpants! 💁‍♂️💃 Who says you can't be both trendy and comfortable? #SweatpantsModelGoals"
$Funny want quotes - Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.$

5 months ago
Share →: Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Commentary:
"Dear Math, we need to talk. I have my own issues to deal with, like trying to remember where I parked my car and figuring out why I still haven't won the lottery 🚗💸. So let's just agree to solve our own problems, shall we? 😉"
5 months ago
Share →: Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Commentary:
"Taking a break from swiping left and right to await my knight in shining armor…or perhaps just a humble farmer with a trusty donkey 🐴🐉 #MedievalLoveStory #NoMoreSwipeLife"