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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,563

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Just landed via Telegram:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Trending via Telegram:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Just landed via Threads:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Spotted on Telegram:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Trending via Pinterest:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Going bananas on Facebook:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Funny width quotes

Funny width quotes bring a hilarious twist to how we see size and space 📏😂 Whether you’re measuring life’s quirks or just love a good pun, these witty lines will stretch your smile wider than ever! 🤣✨ Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening up your day, get ready to laugh out loud and celebrate the lighter side of width in the funniest way possible! 🎉😄

New funny width quotes 👇

All funny width quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

32 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Wolves should really raise more people.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Not going is the new leaving early.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,578

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Trending via WeChat:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Just landed via TikTok:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Just landed via WeChat:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Going bananas on Discord:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Just landed via X:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Trending via Messenger:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

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