Wordgag ツ

8,000+ funny quotes

Funny Quotes Pictures

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.
Jan 19, 2025
I'm staying up past midnight this New Year's eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.
Jan 19, 2025
The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it's a potato with fur.
Jan 19, 2025
I don't like violence, but I don't mind if I get hit by luck.
Jan 19, 2025
Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.
Jan 19, 2025
It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.
Jan 19, 2025
Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let's be positive here.
Jan 19, 2025
Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary.
Jan 19, 2025
This too shall pass... It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.
Jan 19, 2025
Why can't the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.
Jan 19, 2025