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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,345

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Spotted on Instagram:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Trending via WhatsApp:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Just shared via YouTube:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Funny advanced quotes

Funny advanced quotes bring a clever twist to everyday wisdom 🤓✨ Perfect for those who love humor with a brainy edge, these witty gems will make you laugh and think at the same time 😂🧠 Whether you’re a pun pro or just enjoy a smart chuckle, get ready to level up your joke game and share some seriously clever vibes! 🎉📝

New funny advanced quotes 👇

All funny advanced quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Instagram this month:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

25 shares on X this month:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

62 shares on Slack this month:

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

App idea: couples upload their arguments. The internet votes on who was right.

41 shares on Threads this month:

People say 70-80 year olds are unemployable because of mental decline, yet somehow they’re running all the countries.

16 shares on Discord this month:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

89 shares on Slack this month:

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Alexa, turn off the planet.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,555

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Going viral on Snapchat:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Live now on Messenger:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Going viral on Facebook:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

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