Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,308

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Seen just now on Discord:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Just landed via Instagram:

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

Shared recently on X:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Making waves on Reddit:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Going viral on Pinterest:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Freshly posted on X:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Funny attached quotes

Funny attached quotes bring a burst of laughter 😂 to your day, perfectly capturing those quirky moments when you just can’t help but smile 😄. Whether you’re sharing with friends or spicing up your captions, these witty lines add that extra sprinkle of joy ✨ and fun! Ready to brighten your feed and keep the good vibes rolling? Let’s dive into the world of hilarious attached quotes! 🎉📲

New funny attached quotes 👇

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

1 week ago

attached, dashboard, distraction, driving, ever, giant, humor, iPad, please, safety, technology, text, texting
I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

2 weeks ago

attached, attention, brand, competitive, coupon, email, here, humor, i, lot, love, marketing, me, miss, people, relationship, saying
I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

3 weeks ago

activity, attached, commitment, decision, fun, fun activity, going, humor, i, learn, music, no strings attached, play, something, strings, violin, wanted

All funny attached quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

77 shares on Reddit this month:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

88 shares on Slack this month:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

75 shares on Threads this month:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

48 shares on Threads this month:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

42 shares on Threads this month:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

45 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls are perverts when they like you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If you love someone, let them sleep.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,443

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

And then one day, life was like… hold my beer.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Making waves on Threads:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m broke in Monopoly, and my husband just asked if I want to earn $100.

Going viral on Facebook:

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Just shared via X:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Just landed via Reddit:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

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