Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”