Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Commentary:
Trying to recover from a botched high five is like trying to un-send a risky text message… it's just awkward city, population: you and your flailing hand 🤦‍♂️🤝 Don't worry, we've all been there!
6 months ago
Share →: Farting, but with eye contact.

Commentary:
Oh, so you’re taking farting to a whole new level – now with eye contact 👁️💨! Nothing says "good manners" like asserting dominance in the most unconventional way possible. Next time, maybe throw in a wink for extra flair 😉.
6 months ago
Share →: Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Commentary:
"Oh, looks like your spaceship's landing gear is still deployed! 🛸 Let me close the hangar for you before we take off into civilian fashion territory! 🚀👖"
6 months ago
Share →: Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Commentary:
Looks like we have a new executive chef in the office! 🍴👨‍🍳 Don't forget to savor the unique aroma of success…or maybe just open a window. 😂 #ChefOfTheYear
6 months ago
Share →: Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Commentary:
"Who needs swiping left or right when you can just aimlessly wander the aisles of a grocery store in search of romance? 🛒🤔 Who knows, you might just find your soulmate lost in the frozen foods section! ❄️😆 #LoveInTheProduceAisle"
6 months ago
Share →: Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Commentary:
Relationship Status: Playing it cool with the pup, hoping he doesn't realize he's been pied 😂🐶🍃 #PuppyRejection #LeafDistraction
6 months ago
Share →: An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Commentary:
"Trying to read a menu at a dimly lit restaurant, or just getting an eye exam? 🕶️🔦 Talk about a fine line between ordering pasta and checking your vision! Who knew squinting could become a gourmet experience 🍝😂 #EyeStrainMenuGain"
6 months ago
Share →: How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Commentary:
Well, it's not like you can leave a voicemail saying, "Sorry, I'm not feeling very productive today." 🙈💦 Just imagine the awkwardness of that phone call – "Hello, yes, I need to cancel my reservation at the sperm bank… No, no reason in particular, I'm just feeling a bit… drained?" 😂 It definitely raises some intriguing logistical questions!
6 months ago
Share →: Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Commentary:
"Well, that was a ride as smooth as a square wheel! 🚂😜 Leaving the train like a pro with a parting shot, 'Thanks for nothing!' 🙄 Farewell, dear locomotive, until we meet again on the rollercoaster of life! 🎢😄"
6 months ago
Share →: Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Commentary:
"Imagine being Beyoncé and having someone come up to you gushing about Goldmember instead of your iconic music career 🤯 Maybe she'll just respond with 'I'm a survivor, I'm not gon' give up' 😂🎤 #OopsIDidItAgain"