138 Funny before quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

  Commentary:
  Isn't it ironic how Twitter turned all the nonsense swirling in our minds into a global circus? 🤪🎪🐦 Just imagine all the random thoughts and hot takes that were trapped in there before – poor brains must have been so overcrowded! Thanks, Twitter, for providing an outlet for our nonsensical banter! 😂 #TwitterHumor

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the magic of mobile time dilation! 🕒😄 Who knew 10 minutes could stretch into 3 hours of endless scrolling and funny cat videos? 📱🐱 Sweet dreams and strong Wi-Fi signals to all!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

  Commentary:
  "Want to assert your authority at work? Simply beat your coworkers to the punch by pointing out their sleepy eyes before they can even mention yours. It's all about that pre-emptive strike, folks! 💪😏 #OfficePowerMoves"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the ultimate talent of navigating the treacherous checkout line maze! 🛒🤦‍♂️ It's like a secret power that always leads to the slowest line! Who knew selective incompetence could be so prevalent at the register? 😅 #ShoppingChronicles"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the good ol' days when ignorance was bliss! 🙈 Who needs internet trolls when you can have peace of mind instead? 😂 Let's cherish the memories of simpler times! 🌟

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

  Commentary:
  "Saving the world, one expired carrot at a time! 🥕🦠 Don't mess with the veggie drawer – it's a jungle in there! 🥦🌿 #FridgeAdventure"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs expensive vacations when you have a trusty hand stamper to create the illusion of a wild nightlife? 😄💼 #OfficeLifeGoals #StampingMyWayToAdventure"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal quest for that ideal 'before' picture! Just six more months of procrastination, snacks, and Netflix marathons. 🍕📺 You've got this! 💪😅"

For even more funny before quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny before quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌