Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Being a writer means having a story you want everyone in the world to read, except anyone who knows you.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,470

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Trending via WhatsApp:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Trending via Pinterest:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Going viral on X:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Seen just now on Facebook:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Making waves on Facebook:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Seen just now on Slack:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Funny bump quotes

Funny bump quotes bring all the giggles 🤰😂 as moms-to-be embrace their growing bumps with humor and heart. Whether it’s about cravings, sleepless nights, or those unexpected kicks, these lighthearted lines add a sprinkle of joy 🌟 and a dash of laughter to the pregnancy journey. Perfect for sharing, captioning, or simply brightening your day with a smile! 😄💬

New funny bump quotes 👇

All funny bump quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Messenger this month:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

94 shares on Slack this month:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

84 shares on Discord this month:

You wish you had this many chins.

27 shares on Threads this month:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

47 shares on Reddit this month:

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

62 shares on Threads this month:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

66 shares on Facebook this month:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,384

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Just landed via WeChat:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Spotted on X:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Live now on Snapchat:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Just landed via YouTube:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Making waves on WeChat:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Breaking via YouTube:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

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