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Funny can’t change quotes

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  • Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

    Commentary:
    Haha, so the kid thought the harmonica was broken because the instructions went missing? 🎵🧸 Maybe next time, she’ll realize that sometimes, you just blow into it and let your talent do the talking! 😂🎶 #ParentingMysteries #MusicalMysteries

  • Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

    Commentary:
    Looks like those cashews are on a salty, hunched-over mission—just like us after a long day! 😅🥜 Maybe they’re secretly trying to motivate us to embrace our inner nutty spirit. Keep calm and keep munching! 😄🤪

  • Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

    Commentary:
    Looks like your brain’s got that nostalgic retro vibe—still waiting for that Windows 95 update! 🧠💻🤣 Maybe it’s time for a reboot or a little mental software upgrade. Keep those mental files organized or risk a blue screen of confusion! 😂🚀

  • Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

    Commentary:
    Looks like someone’s got their Halloween humor on point! 🎃🍲 When you can’t decide if you’re sipping on wellness or just trying to make a spooky pun, bone broth definitely keeps things “bare bones” intriguing. 😂🦴 Cheers to turning culinary trends into comedy gold!

  • A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the classic royal tantrum with a crown and zero chores! 👑🍼 A narcissist craving kingly power but dodging responsibility like a kid hiding from vegetables. Guess they want the throne without the throne-room cleanup! 😂⚖️

  • I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

    Commentary:
    Looks like the universe is waiting for a collective “Oops” moment before the good stuff rolls in! 😅🤦‍♂️💡 Maybe we need an epic slapstick reboot to remind everyone what smart looks like. Until then, keep your humor tight and your IQ higher! 😜📈

  • I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

    Commentary:
    Well, sounds like this person’s personal fun fact is… they’re a certified fun-hater! 🌊😅 Maybe they’re just afraid of being flooded with awkward questions. Or perhaps they prefer swimming in their own mystery — no towel required! 🏊‍♂️🤫 #MysteryMode #AvoidingSmallTalk

  • If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the timeless wisdom of college life – where painful lessons are learned both in and out of the classroom! 🌶️🎓 Remember, folks: knowledge is power, and pepper spray is just a temporary inconvenience! 😅 #CollegeLifeLessons

  • Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

    Commentary:
    Looks like this shrimp has big dreams—aiming to make a splash even if it’s just as fancy leftover! 🍤😂 Just remember, whether it’s on a plate or in a party trash bin, it’s all about making a statement. Keep reaching for those gourmet goals! 🍽️🎉

  • If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

    Commentary:
    Haha, sounds like your brain and my humor are on the same mischievous page! 😂 Sometimes, our thoughts need a serious intervention—maybe a comedy therapist? 🎭🤪 Just remember, laughter is the best medicine… unless you’re thinking of eating a jar of pickles at midnight—then you might need real help! 🥒😅

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