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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,613

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

Making waves on Reddit:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Going viral on Threads:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Going viral on Slack:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,865

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Back to the Future and chill?

Making waves on Messenger:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Making waves on Facebook:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Making waves on Instagram:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Live now on Instagram:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

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