I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Commentary:
Well, seems like the snooze button inventor hit the peak of their productivity with that one "ingenious" creation! 😴⏰ Maybe they just kept hitting snooze on their next big ideas! 💡😜

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Commentary:
"Apparently, birds have been mastering the art of seduction long before humans – who knew their chirping was just a clever ploy all along! Now I’m imagining a bird composing a catchy tune with lyrics like, 'Wanna perch on my branch tonight? Tweet me back, baby!' Ah, the avian version of a love song – nature truly is full of surprises!"

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Commentary:
Well, it looks like we've officially entered the land of whimsical weekday wonders! Just remember, if you find yourself lost in the time warp between "thisday" and "thatday," don't worry – you can always catch up on "yesterday" and look forward to "nextday"! Just don't get stuck in the eternal loop of "someday" – that's where productivity goes to take a vacation!

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Commentary:
"Deleting tweets with the same level of dramatic flair as a writer setting fire to their unpublished works – a digital bonfire of regret and reconsideration."

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Commentary:
"Clearly the first person to write down a recipe was on a whole other level of organization – they probably color-coded their spice rack and alphabetized their pantry. Meanwhile, the rest of us are over here still trying to figure out where we put the flour."