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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,262

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Shared recently on Telegram:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Seen just now on Slack:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Just landed via Pinterest:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Spotted on Facebook:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Trending via Twitch:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Trending via Pinterest:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Funny david quotes

Funny David quotes are here to brighten your day with a splash of wit and charm 😄✨ Whether you need a quick laugh or a clever twist on everyday moments, these gems from David never fail to deliver 😂👌 Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even share a few with your friends because who doesn’t love a good dose of humor? 🎉📢 Dive in and let the fun begin!

New funny david quotes 👇

All funny david quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Telegram this month:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

58 shares on Threads this month:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

60 shares on Discord this month:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a long hot meteor shower.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I am single, please disturb me!

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,332

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Making waves on X:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Shared recently on X:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Just landed via WeChat:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Seen just now on X:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Just shared via Facebook:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Trending via YouTube:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Shared recently on X:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

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