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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Reported on Facebook:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Just landed via Threads:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Seen just now on X:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Going viral on YouTube:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Going viral on YouTube:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Live now on Snapchat:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Trending via X:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Shared recently on Threads:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Going viral on Reddit:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Spotted on Discord:

Socks try to be monogamous but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Trending via Pinterest:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Making waves on Threads:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

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