Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

15 minutes ago

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Just landed via WeChat:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Reported on Twitch:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Spotted on Twitch:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Spotted on Twitch:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Making waves on TikTok:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Home » Funny Diary Quotes

Funny diary quotes

Funny diary quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to your daily reflections 📔😂 Whether you’re venting, dreaming, or just scribbling random thoughts, a witty line can turn any entry into a laugh-out-loud moment 🤪✍️ Ready to brighten your journal sessions and keep those smiles coming? Let’s dive into some playful vibes that make diary writing anything but boring! 🎉📖

New funny diary quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Commentary:
Who needs a diary when you can overshare online and get that sweet, sweet validation? 📓🤳😁
6 months ago
Share →: Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Commentary:
"Promising not to spill the tea, unless my hubby is listening! 🤫📖 Who needs a diary when you have a live journal at home, am I right? 😂 #MarriageSecrets"
6 months ago
Share →: House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Commentary:
Well, well, well, seems like your buddy's secret life is finally out of the closet! 📖🏠 Who knew house-sitting could lead to such unexpected discoveries? Next time you're asked to watch over a place, make sure to check for hidden diaries and scandalous secrets! 😂 #HouseSittingAdventures #DiaryGate
6 months ago
Share →: Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Commentary:
"Twitter: The Millennial's Diary 📖🔍 If you're snooping through tweets, you better buckle up for some unfiltered thoughts and a rollercoaster of emotions! 🎢😂 #TwitterDiaries #PrivacyPlease"
6 months ago
Share →: Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Commentary:
"Dear diary, sure hope you're not feeling neglected from all my talk! 📖 Maybe you enjoy some quality 'me time' when I'm not around. 🤔 Don't worry, I promise to spare you the drama… unless we're writing a bestseller together! 🖊️😅"

For even more funny diary quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny diary quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

15 minutes ago

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Broadcasted on Discord:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Shared recently on WeChat:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Just landed via Telegram:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Spotted on TikTok:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Seen just now on Reddit:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴