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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,229

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Going viral on YouTube:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Seen just now on Slack:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Just landed via Threads:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Going viral on Telegram:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Going viral on Telegram:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

Trending via WeChat:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Making waves on Messenger:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Funny DUI quotes

Funny DUI quotes 🚗💨 bring a hilarious twist to a serious topic, turning cautionary tales into laugh-out-loud moments 😂. Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood or share a cheeky reminder, these witty lines hit the spot with clever humor and a playful wink 😉. Buckle up for some chuckles and unexpected giggles—because sometimes laughter is the best way to drive the message home! 🚦🤣

New funny DUI quotes 👇

All funny DUI quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

18 shares on Threads this month:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

67 shares on Discord this month:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,438

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Live now on Telegram:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Just shared via Slack:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Trending via Instagram:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Spotted on YouTube:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Making waves on Facebook:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

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