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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,284

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Making waves on X:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Going bananas on Slack:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Messenger this month:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Popping your head in the cockpit and saying, “Anywhere here will do, chief.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

92 shares on Discord this month:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait for the “international law” crowd to discover that “human rights” aren’t real, either.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,640

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Not my room, not my elephant.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Old people are right about crosswords and morning stretches, I will admit.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Going bananas on X:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Going bananas on Slack:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Going viral on Reddit:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

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