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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,383

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Trending via Instagram:

My recliner and I go way back.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Trending via Instagram:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Making waves on Messenger:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

Spotted on WeChat:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Just landed via YouTube:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Spotted on Reddit:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

13 Funny expert quotes

Funny expert quotes bring a hilarious twist to serious advice 🤓😂 Whether it’s wisdom with a wink or truths that tickle your funny bone, these gems prove that even experts love a good laugh! Ready to boost your mood and impress your friends with witty words from the pros? Let’s dive into some clever quips that mix smarts and smiles! 🤩🎉

New funny expert quotes 👇

For even more funny expert quotes, hit next 👇

All funny expert quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Threads this month:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You’d think, with the amount of overthinking I do, I’d make the right decision.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,551

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Seen just now on Instagram:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Spotted on YouTube:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Live now on Twitch:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Going viral on Slack:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Shared recently on Reddit:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I need money, not feelings.

Trending via Slack:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

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