Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,708

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Just landed via X:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Going viral on Threads:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Trending via Snapchat:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Spotted on Telegram:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Live now on Telegram:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Trending via WeChat:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Shared recently on Reddit:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Funny food choice quotes

Funny food choice quotes 🍕🍦 turn everyday meals into moments of laughter and joy! Whether you’re team sweet or savory, these witty sayings add a sprinkle of humor to your cravings 🍔😂. Perfect for sharing with fellow foodies or brightening up your feed, they remind us that sometimes the best ingredient is a good chuckle 🍩😄. Get ready to feast on fun and savor every bite of hilarity! 🎉🍉

New funny food choice quotes 👇

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

37 minutes ago

brave, bravery, choice, different, food, food choice, humor, kind, menu, order, restaurant, something
Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

2 months ago

cheeseburger, choice, diet, eat, family, food, food choice, food preference, front, fruits, honesty, humor, humor quote, just, kids, knowing, life, means, parent, parent life, parenting, parenting struggle, preference, pretend, struggle, vegetables
Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

2 months ago

buying, choice, dog, dogs, food, food choice, food regret, gas, gas station, gut, humor, me, regret, roller, roller dog, station, sushi, thanks, thing, tricks, trust
“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

3 months ago

adult, adult decision, choice, decision, food, food choice, fry, humor, life, life choice, priorities, salad

All funny food choice quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Threads this month:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

57 shares on WeChat this month:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

48 shares on Slack this month:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,282

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Just shared via Threads:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Just shared via Threads:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Just shared via Messenger:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Making waves on WeChat:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Just landed via Telegram:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

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